<blockquote rel="R_Yell">Please help me comment on this. I think I need to reduce the number of words which is challenging for me.
<b>Essay Writing Task 2</b>
<b><i>
Universities should accept equal number of male and female students in every subject.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?</i></b>
Although it is a ground breaking news for women that they have the right to be equal with men in education and career opportunities vice versa, I do not think so that universities, in this case, have to implement equal number of admission in every subject for male and female students. Simply speaking, both genders have their own preferences as to what they like to do and study about and what they do not like.
Firstly, both genders mean they possess own unique personalities and different aptitudes of what they can do and of what they cannot do or what they are not comfortable to do should I say. Universities have to understand that the courses they offer have something to do with passion and abilities of every male and female student. Equality for both genders does not mean to be equal in figure of male and female students enrolled in a course or subject or else by means of imposing this to women having the thought of “education equality” with men is not education equality at all vice versa. A timid male student who has stage fright and phobia speaking to a large group of different intellectuals of audience cannot be forced to take a teaching profession or something to do with public speaking careers while a slow-moving female student cannot be unwillingly admitted to a military school or maritime courses just to fulfill the idea of equality in numbers.
On my second note, regardless of what subject a male and a female take in universities, it must be of their favorable advantage because after all to be educated means being empowered by our own individual endeavor of interest. To be empowered in any means has nothing to do with satisfying any rule or policy because humans yet alike in nature are so different in many ways. What is anyway the purpose of having both genders get to access full and equal education? It is not about the policy or rule in number of male and female enrollees in every subject; however, it is to make them a person with worth and value in the crafts they have chosen believing that they are capable of making useful contributions in the society, in their families and in their own lives.
In conclusion, universities have to greatly consider the students’ field of interest and what they think they are skilled of whether male or female rather than looking at the idea of equal number of both genders that have to be accepted in every subject. <b>(423 words)</b>
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Hello! 🙂
Did you write this under time pressure? Congrats!
I read in an IELTS practice book that rhetorical questions should be avoided though. But the points you raised are really good.
Wish you well on your exam! 🙂