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Posts: 441Member
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Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
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Posts: 441Member
Joined: Aug 19, 2013
Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs P50.00.
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store.
Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the P50.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter.
To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the P50.00.
The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its lights, and printed out the following analysis:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better
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Posts: 441Member
Joined: Aug 19, 2013
Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
Google for Everything !!!
Posts: 441Member
Joined: Aug 19, 2013
pareho tayo huhuhuhu
Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
Google for Everything !!!
Posts: 441Member
Joined: Aug 19, 2013
Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
Google for Everything !!!
Posts: 441Member
Joined: Aug 19, 2013
Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
Google for Everything !!!
Posts: 441Member
Joined: Aug 19, 2013
Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
Google for Everything !!!
Posts: 441Member
Joined: Aug 19, 2013
Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,550Member, Moderator
Joined: Oct 31, 2012
ANZSCO 221214 - Internal Auditor
19 Jan 13 - Academic IELTS Results - passed
12 July 13 - Vetassess Assessment + Point Test Advice: Positive
03 Nov 13 - Invitation Accepted 70 points
19 Dec 13 - Lodged Visa 189
07 Feb 14 - Visa Granted
04 Aug 14 - Initial Entry Date requirement
26 July 14 - Actual IED to Melbourne
May 2015 - Big Move
June 2015 - Got a permanent role in Melbourne
Apr 2016 - Got a contract consultancy role in Melbourne
May 2016 - Got permanent role and moved to Toowooba, Queensland
And now...... living the life that i have imagined
"A great photograph is one that fully expresses what one feels, in the deepest sense, about what is being photographed" - Ansel Adams
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
may tatlong batang lalakeng namboso sa teacher nilang sexy. nahuli sila at kinuwestiyon...
TEACHER: pedro, anong nakita mo?
PEDRO: kaliwang suso nyo mam
TEACHER: pwes, suspended ka ng isang linggo. ikaw juan anong nakita mo?
JUAN: dalawang suso nyo mam
TEACHER: suspended ka ng isang buwan. ikaw boy?
tumayo at naglalakad na palabas...
TEACHER: at saan ka pupunta boy?
BOY: uuwi na mam... sa nakita ko, tiyak tapos na pag-aaral ko
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Posts: 441Member
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Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
.
Girls wrote:
When mutual understanding between a boy and a girl increases so much that they cant live without each other, implies they are in "love" and when this love reaches extreme such that both feel bodily same, they engage themselves in a body to body pleasureful combat that we call "sex" !
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Boys wrote:
I love sex.
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Posts: 441Member
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Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
inde mo alam ang sex simple lang yan. yan ang kasunod ng five. ...... sex -
yours truly
Manny Pacquiao
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Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
Misis: naku ingat ka sa cholesterol niyan!!! may kilala ako sa tondo na kumain ng tatlong matatabang alimango na puro aligue habang nakikipaginuman
Mister: talaga!!! tapos ano nangyari??
Misis: lumabas lang siya sandali para jumingle ayun bigla na lang bumulagta patay na!!!
Mister: inatake sa puso??
Misis: hindi, sinaksak ng adik!!! marami talagang loko dyan sa Tondo!! hehehe
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Posts: 441Member
Joined: Aug 19, 2013
Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
Google for Everything !!!
Posts: 441Member
Joined: Aug 19, 2013
Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
Intsik: Hinipo Lola
Lola: Abay talagang manyakis kang tarantado ka! Hindi mo lang binosohan, Hinipo mo pa pala!!!
Intsik: Hinipo! Hinipo!
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Kurikong, kurikong...sa tumbong ay umusbong!
Posts: 1,416Member, Moderator
Joined: Jan 11, 2011
BRANDO: TAY, NADAPA AKO KANINA, PERO HINDI AKO UMIYAK.
TATAY:MACHONG MACHO TALAGA ANAK KO, HiNDI BASTA BASTA UMIIYAK MANANG MANA SA TATAY NIYA.
BRANDO: SEMPRE NAMAN TAY SABI NGA SA KANTA
BIG GIRLS DONT CRY...
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Joined: Jan 11, 2011
pagkatapos niyang tumae, wala na ang grupong kasama niyang umakyat. sinubukan niyang hanapin subalit siya ay nawala sa makapal na gubat.
habang naglalakad ay napunta siya sa isang tribu ng mga ita...
MAYAMAN: magandang hapon po. tulongan nyo po ako. nawawala ako. paano po ba bumalik ng lunsod?
ITA: magandang hapon din. pwede ka namin samahan ka at ituro ang daan pero bukas na. malapit na kasi magdilim. dito ka na magpa-gabi
pumayag ang mayaman. habang nagpapahinga, napansin nya na ang tribu na ito ay puro lalake kaya nagtanong siya sa isa sa kanila...
MAYAMAN: brad, matanong ko lang noh... napansin ko puro kayo lalake, paanong ginagawa nyo kung nalilibugan kayo?
ITA: bukas ng umaga isasama ka namin sa ilog. papakita namin sayo
kinaumagahan, sinama siya ng mga ita sa ilog. nakita niya na may isang kalabaw na babae sa tabi ng ilog...
ITA: ayan... mauna ka na
medyo nandiri si mayaman pero ayaw naman niyang tanggihan kasi baka ma-insulto at pugutan siya ng ulo.
kaya kinantot niya ang kalabaw. matapos ang sampung minuto, kinalabit siya ng isang ita...
ITA: malapit ka na ba matapos?
MAYAMAN: oo
ITA: buti naman. kasi gagamitin namin yang kalabaw para makatawid ng ilog papunta sa mga babae ng tribu
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